I AM MOTHER, HEAR ME ROAR!


Exactly a year ago, my gal pal Jessie came to town and surprised me with an amazing baby shower.  I’m finally writing about it.  Yep, I’m approximately 12 months behind on party posts.

Jessie, her sister Molly, and I were up in Portland finishing up a whirlwind shopping trip.  We were sitting in California Pizza Kitchen lamenting that it was already time to drive home.  Jessie looked up from her icy Coke and asked what I was doing the next weekend.  I explained that we had Shakespeare tickets for Saturday night.  “Um…you can’t go to Shakespeare,” she said.  Jessie’s cheeks were rosy, that flushed look she gets when embarrassed.  “You can’t go because I’m throwing you a baby shower.  It was supposed to be a surprise.  Taylor thought your calendar was clear.  Sorry for spoiling it but I didn’t know what else to do!”  I sat there completely astonished.  How, living almost 1,000 miles away, had she pulled off such a coup?  Conspiratorial emails, invitations, reservations weeks in advance.  A van full of decorations hauled all the way from Utah.  Jessie is amazing, I am telling you what.


Jessie said she couldn’t decide on a theme for a long time (she and I, we’re suckers for party themes).  Then one morning, while running on the treadmill, Katy Perry came on.  “I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire…”  That was it.  “And all of the sudden, I knew!” Jessie explained.  “I had my theme.  ‘I am Mother, Hear Me Roar!’ Isn’t it perfect for a mother of FIVE?!”



Jessie threw the party at our favorite Mexican restaurant, Si Casa Flores.  It’s where we always went together with our families or on Christmas shopping dates.  Where we dreamed big about our future businesses and families while we gulped down copious amounts of Coke and snacked on hot crispy chips with salsa.  It’s our place.


Our good friend, Cat, helped Jessie with the flowers and lots of other details, including an unbelievably good lemon cake.  Our friend Aviann brought darling tarts and my amazing SIL, Melissa, brought a divine chocolate cake.  Perfectly rich, sugary chasers after all the fajitas, burritos, and enchiladas.


Jessie is incredible at little details- little tigers in tarts?  Come ON!  And I loved the genius juxtaposition of feminine florals mixed with a roaring lion.  Brilliant, right?


Jessie and my mom.  Every heart eye for the two women who understood me best through my most trying pregnancy.


Even though the event was no longer a surprise, I still felt a complete sense of awe and surprise as Molly and I walked in.  The theme was all new to me and I was blown away by how many women that I love and admire came out to celebrate with me.


It’s hard to put into words the gratitude I felt at this event.  It was my fifth baby.  My fourth boy.  No one needed to throw me a shower.  But showers aren’t really about presents, are they?  They’re about sistering.  Rallying.  Loving.  After months of struggle, curling up inward and failing to reach out, the gargantuan void that was ante partum depression, to be surrounded by women who love me and believed that I could do this, was like medicine.





Jessie you’re a real dream boat, you know that?  Thank you for loving me.

*All photos by the lovely @emmaline.jean, who dealt brilliantly with the less-than-optimal lighting and background of a Mexican restaurant!  xo

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