I’d been toying with the idea of having professional photos taken of me in this last pregnancy. I felt confident this would be the last time I had a baby bump and figured it ought to be documented well. But truthfully, I didn’t want to pose for the camera. My confidence was at an all time low in this pregnancy darkened by ante-partum depression. I didn’t feel strong or beautiful or smart or photogenic, to say the least.
Then, a few months ago, I wrote this:
Just under 14 weeks to go and suddenly I am embracing this pregnancy. I don’t feel put upon or resentful. I don’t feel begrudging. I just feel grateful. I am energetic and ambitious. The dark, heavy cloud that shrouded me for so many weeks has lifted. I love my healthy body. I love the gift of pregnancy. I love this boy.
It was a revelation. A total miracle to feel so happy and joyful and at peace. And suddenly I knew the best way to capture both my physical state and my feelings. Family pictures! Kind of an unusual choice– family portraits with Mama in her third trimester, but it felt so perfect. I have been pregnant a LOT in the last few years. What better way to capture our young family life? It felt like the most fitting time capsule.
My favorite local photographer, Olivia, came out to my parents’ ranch and shot both film and digital. Of course our kids were goofy and sometimes incredibly uncooperative, but I’m really pleased with how many authentic, beautiful captures she got. When these little stages of life feel terribly fleeting and my heart starts to race as I realize how quickly they are growing up, I am so grateful for photos like these.